1. |
i explode
04:43
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wait for something to happen
director to call action
nobody calls action
piss inside a glass case
wouldn't it be nice
surrounded by numbers
words i use for others
trapped in a distraction
nobody calls action
gone in seconds flat
when i start yelling
find a safe place to take cover, get low
if what i am bears any importance
i wouldn't know
you'll be scared of me when i explode
when i open my heart up
just behind the star dust
columns, rows, and boxes
checkmark under bat shit
gone in seconds flat
some disturbed by voices
others by strange noises
nobody calls action
gone in seconds flat
wouldn't it be nice
when i explode
water bursting out my face and down my nose
if what i've built can be considered an altar
its to the wonderful time
before anyone had died
and the shadows i see
when i open my eyes
and the ghosts that live
living on in my mind
i loved you back then
and i love you more now
but turn, sprinting
you'll be scared of me
you'll be scared of me when i explode
songs i sing to myself turn sour
i am lonely when i'm in a crowd
i feel i'm being stepped on
wouldn't it be nice
(gone in seconds flat)
surrounded by numbers
(some disturbed by voices)
words encased in others
(others by strange noises)
i'm bleeding and it's perfect
(nobody calls action)
i just can't explain it
(gone in seconds flat)
gone in seconds flat
(gone in seconds flat)
i explode
i explode
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2. |
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you are everything to me
i can't live like this anymore
there's nothing i wouldn't do
for you and the things you do
if i could stay just for a second
won't it be great
when i wake up
just say what you're thinking
please
you're all, all i'll ever need
ever need
it's me
i'm all there is now
i'm all there is and everything's dark now
could you make sense of all of my nonsense
all my words never got heard
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3. |
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love comes lighting a fire
all that smoke obscures the rain
if i knew any better
i'd look the other way
my, my, you are so wasted
inexperienced young nurse
calling out blindly
trying to lift a curse
when will i be free
of the weight of me
how long will it take
for you to drown me
in the weeds
of my grief
the history of our youth
the promises it's no use to break
to break
my, my, the noise of all the people
reaches fever pitch then wanes
if you knew any better
you'd give it all away
i'm not afraid of what i do
when there's no one to see me do it
no one to blame
i'm not afraid of all my secrets all my shames
i'm not a-
-fraid
don't look
at what i've become
don't look
at what i'll do or what i've done
my, my, the stillness of the void
sings perfection with its song
so sweetly it seems
could never hold my breath for very long
i'll be free
of the weight of me
how long will it take
for you to drown me
in the weeds
of our grief
the histories of our youth
the promises it's no use to break
to break
to break
i feel so small
i stare at the walls
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4. |
isla de las muñecas
04:20
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oh, the way she fits so neatly
in his swollen hands
sinks him to the ocean floor
and rings around him, spiral motion
"darling, i could keep you here
display you on a shelf"
dolls her up and breaks her face in
big ol' mess of porcelain
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
perfect as a morning sunset
peachy as a plum
first time treasure, second even better
but she's crying as she's pouting
lightly as a feather
and all the colors of the ocean
make way for her
all the songs they sing
are all about her
she don't even know it
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
don't move
he sees her wishing for more
he sees her scan the shore
he has to see her, is it getting through?
just where is it you're hoping that the wind will take you?
he lives in a vacuum cleaner tube
a worn old pvc pipe
cathode ray tube monitor
a walk-in closet full or christmas stuff
he's always said that he's not much for collecting things
he won't see her if he wants to
he won't see her when he wakes up
oh
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5. |
childhood's end
03:21
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stand by your decisions
fuck what people say
you know the moment you forget that
you start withering away
will this be on the midterm?
should i write this down?
if something seems worth doing
it's worth doing loud
you can make the same mistake twice
you can disregard their best advice
i know you can do it
there practically is nothing to it
feels like starting over again
redo all your habits
throw your old ones in the bin
thrash your arms across your shelves
make a fist
paint over a painting
ruin something
cut your hair
force a change of seasons
embrace a change of heart
treat it as a friend of yours, my child
sing to it as one of your own kind
waft the incense over me
the way you'd lead a symphony
the changing of the guard and of the
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6. |
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mind
and then you'll be on your same old shit
maybe never really grow up
you don't ever have to move on
oh
and you can never get comfortable
maybe you never learned how
maybe you can start right now
oh
if you love someone, let them go
never embrace, never follow
oh, shadow hands now grope in the dark
when did that start
how long has it been
how long has it been
you don't have to go your whole life
following that path
make your parents angry
kick the nurse who cleans your catheter
be a little selfish
get impatient
go inpatient
fall in love and out again
if you love someone, let 'em go
never embrace, never follow, oh
yeah, shadow hands now groping in the dark
when did that start
how long has it been
how long has it been
hey, you can be better
hey, you can be more
life will crawl away from you
if you don't make it scared of you
circling the infinite light
death comes ding dong ditching
i've still got my pride
chariot coming for me
like a meteorite
all that lies in front of you is
light
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7. |
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looking so sweet
dragging your feet on the floor
close your legs
close your legs in the doorway
in your eyes, a love song
i won't be long
no
so say your guardian angel
while folding you up in all these little tiny pieces
beg for michael
call for gabriel
call for gabriel
in all my years and all my days, well
i have never felt ashamed
i will not abide, comply
the bathroom fades, the shower curtains
dry
so say your guardian angel
wrestling you from shadows here, tonight
save room for jacob
make space for israel
israel
beg for him to comfort you
and he'll say no
no
there's a photo that breaks you down
there's a wolf who chases you around
while the wind all but knocks you down
wave to the strangers who watch you drown
and no one comes collecting
no one cums at all
no
writing down something
writing down something you can't spell
looking for something
something that you can't make out
writing down something
writing down something you can't spell
looking for something
something that you can't make out
make out
baby, i am your guardian angel
giving you names
keeping you awake
i beg for angels
make space for israel
israel
call for michael, call me israel
call for help, keep calling out to me
scream
save some space up there for me
space for me
call for help
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8. |
MURDER YOUR ******
04:14
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well, i'd love to tell you
that i will forgive you
i'm trying, man, i try my very best
it takes me back there
i'm dissociating
in an old location
it's a math equation
i don't understand what i done
i'm screaming i don't want it
but it's a buyer's market
and the way you make me feel just ain't alright
well, i'd love to tell you
that i will forgive you
but as of yet i just can't find it in my heart
if i find it i will let you know
i'll let you know
i'll let you know
you can call but i won't answer the phone
oh
now, the waves keep crashing
and your weight keeps killing me
i'm in love with all the obstacles i see
i'm in love with the chance, the possibility
the doubtful likelihood
like i could get my shit together
overcast or stormy weather
i'm disengaged, i can't trust no one
better late than never
i better write another song
i better cut some magazines
i better spread out of the table
like a turkey on your plate
me and all the other queer kids burn in hell with all you straights
i don't think i wanna hurt you but i'll let you know
maybe things may change
i'll let you know
when you're burning i will let you burn
i'll let you burn
i'll let you burn
this just in, a bulletin
i've got one thing to add
you don't have to give forgiveness
if forgiveness makes you mad
you can keep your anger close
and let it cuddle you to sleep
and in the night you can have another
pleasant murder dream
murder
oh, murder
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9. |
пошел на хуй, боже
04:54
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i blame God for where i been
for what His humble servants did
i won't silently just curse the state i'm in
take the flesh and toss the rind
someone needs it more than i
gaze at phone numbers
and wistfully opine on why i can't seem to pull the trigger
brace myself for what comes next
and watch the world get bigger
oh, i
i'll rebuild myself today
i'll be made a new, bright shape
i'll say grace and eat my vegetables
and i'll watch nothing change
i hide from the rising of the tide
laugh at who i left behind
live my truth if only for just one last time
breaking bottles for their letters
clinging desperately for air
someone somewhere's gotta
break the spell and make me scared
cause i am never scared, no, dying doesn't make me scared
and when i wash up, baby, i'll look like a safety flare
my weight inordinately displacing the water of the sea
i felt so heavy when you ran away with me
could you be
could you be the one for me
could you be the one i need
blame God and scream and scream
blame God until you no longer have the need
blame God
blame God
blame God and don't blame me
just blame God
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10. |
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we hold hands and we jump Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Surprising no one, the artist behind this music is a trans woman now. This project may be dead and gone, but she continues to write music with a new band called "Sherry CD-ROM".
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